


널 바라보다 말했네 혼잣말 just you

by cenji



Category: BNM BOYS (Band), Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, are dumb, blind dates, dumbdumbz
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-01 10:14:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16282694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cenji/pseuds/cenji
Summary: 3 times Woojin set Jaehwan up on a blind date and one time he didn't need to.





	널 바라보다 말했네 혼잣말 just you

Park Woojin is many things. He's a son, a bro, a dancer, a Best Friend Forever No Takebacks, an absolute pro at valet parking rich people's cars, a student, a citizen of the world. But primarily what he is, is bored. Summers are long and his job is mindless. He's earning enough to help pay his tuition fees, but only if he lives that ascetic, straightedge life of temperance and self-denial. 

Oh god, he's bored. He wishes he'd gone back home for the holiday, but he knows his parents would have tolerated him loafing on the couch and surfing at the beach and doing bugger all else. And that is Unacceptable if he feels like still renting with Youngmin and not being kicked out of college in term two. Into this malaise that is his life, strides Jaehwan. 

It's late. The summer night is cool inside the giant concrete shell of the carpark. Woojin has just accompanied a well-dressed 40something to her car since she was having trouble figuring out where she'd left it. By well-dressed, Woojin means she had on this orange silk top, more ruffle than blouse, and a wild leather skirt and three (3) peacoats over her arm. Woojin has only recently discovered what a peacoat is, so thinks it's pretty fancy that the nice lady requires three. He also doesn't really understand why she couldn't find her huge ass green Audi when it was parked right by the elevator on the sparsely full 8th floor. Anyhow, she tipped him well, so his not to reason why. Woojin is happily strolling, no-wheels, caveman style, back to his cramped office. Hopefully nothing's exploded by the time he gets there. He's at floor 6 when he hears the whistling - melodious, three-octave, heartstring-plucking - and the footsteps which have a certain rhythm that belongs to only one human. 

"Jaehwannie-hyung?"

"Woojinnie!" the shout echoes. Woojin estimates there are two floors between them. The footsteps cease and he finds Jaehwan on the fourth floor, squatting by the stairwell, elbows on his knees. He ought to be smoking a handrolled fag to fulfil that gangster vibe, but instead he's twirling a pack of strawberry mentos in his hand. The neatly pressed, sky blue shirt doesn't match the pose either, come to mention it.

"Hi, Hyung. You good?"

"Not very, to be honest. When are you out?"

Woojin joins Jaehwan in squatting by the stairwell. This unexpectedly takes a while as Woojin has to shuffle this way and that to adjust his slacks and protect the long, mulberry jacket of his uniform. 

"35 minutes," he replies, still finding his balance and tucking the hem of his jacket under his knees. Jaehwan puts a hand on Woojin's shoulder to stop him falling. With the other he pops another mento. 

"Darn," he pouts, "I thought it was five. You want to go for drinks when you're done? Hyung will pay."

"Which hyung?"

"This hyung!" Jaehwan throws a sweet at his face. "Say yes. I know you miss hanging out, and don't let me drink alone! State your opinion positively, Friend."

Woojin shrugs. He has retrieved the pink sweet from the ground and, having carefully dusted it off to his satisfaction, pops it in his mouth. 

"Sure. Get out of here for now though. I'm on shift with Hyunbin - you unnerve him," Woojin says, getting to his feet. 

"He unnerves me!" Jaehwan claims, but heaves himself up and pockets his mentos. 

xxx

An hour or so later, they're sitting in a 24hour restaurant sharing a large bowl of noodles and a bag of convenience store beer and soju. It's not what Woojin had pictured when Jaehwan had said 'go for drinks', but he's not paying so he's not complaining. In any case, 

"Endless pain," Jaehwan groans, lowering his head to the table, staring at the clear plastic cup like it's a crystal ball, "Excrutiating anguish and misery. And also heartbreak. Heartbreak, Woojin-ah."

"Plenty more fish in the barrel," Woojin points out. As he does so, he seems to see his cousin, Daehwi, appear by his shoulder just to gasp and smack him hard. Tact is not Woojin's strong point. He accepts this, and isn't acceptance the first step to recovery?

"I don't want fish," Jaehwan grumbles, "I want Sewoon."

Jeong Sewoon. Handsome and cute. Musician and talented song-writer. Charming and kind of a weirdo. Jaehwan's had a crush on him since their schooldays. Whether Jaehwan genuinely loved him or loved the image of himself as a tortured artist harbouring a hopelessly unrequited love for his bestfriend, that was a whole big question. As Youngmin told Woojin furtively one night, once you've gone seven years and haven't once tried to requite your affection, you have to wonder what's really going on. 

Apparently, Youngmin said similar to Jaehwan. Woojin's not sure what his flatmate was hoping to accomplish. What happened was a rejection, finally, at long last. Sewoon didn't understand at first and, when he did, he told his friend he was sorry but it was impossible. So now here they are, sneaking alcohol into a fastfood restaurant, Woojin still wearing the itchy slacks he has for work and Jaehwan crooning Adele songs in a mixture of English and alien language. The homeless man trying to get some shut-eye at the next table harrumphs, glaring daggers at the back of Jaehwan's fluffy head. Woojin slurps a huge mouthful of noodles and chews pensively. He wishes he could help. 

Woojin had first met Jaehwan when he was still in highschool and got to know him properly this year, when he started uni and moved in with Youngmin. In all that time, Jaehwan's never had a serious date. Woojin's sure the only reason is his stupid dallying over Sewoon. Jaehwan's cute, Woojin guesses. At least, he is when he does his hair and actually puts effort into his clothes. And OK, he's dumb. But he knows about a world of random shit, like 50s sci-fi movies and obscure world records and reams and reams of football trivia. And he can improvise a song on the spot. Now, all these songs are entirely stupid, don't get Woojin wrong, but it's still a skill most people don't have. And he's loyal - not just to seven year long idolised crushes, but to each and every one of his pissant performing arts school friends. And he's kind and he's fun to be around, and Woojin is bloody well going to stop him being sad. 

"What if I find you a date?"

Jaehwan glances at him. He finishes pouring the homeless man a glass of soju, tongue poking out in concentration, caps the bottle and turns back to Woojin. 

"Explain, Kid."

Woojin's mental Daehwi reappears long enough to roll its eyes. 

xxx

The first date is with Elkie. She's a Hong Konger who goes to the same dance school as Woojin and works on a make-up counter in the fancy mall next to his carpark. More importantly, from what he knows, she's single. 

He catches her on break one day. She and a colleague, Eunbin, are sitting on plastic chairs in a foodcourt, boredly chewing minuscule rice balls. Woojin wants to just ask her straightforwardly, but he gets sudden doubts when he's sitting across from them in their all black suits.

"So I... Listen, you are straight, aren't you?"

Elkie chokes on rice. Eunbin is momentarily speechless. 

"Oh my god, Woojin, you can't just ask people if they're straight."

"Clearly I am!" Elkie wheezes, shaking off Eunbin's hand that had been violently patting her back, "Obviously I like boys. Why would I not? Did something about me make you think I was a l-lesbian? Because I'm not, Park Woojin. I like cock just as much as the next hot-blooded straight girl. Gosh." She laughs and shoves Eunbin's last two rice balls in her mouth at once. Woojin sighs, relieved to have cleared that up. 

"Great! Because I've got this friend, you see, and he needs a date."

"I'll do it. Gimme his number."

Woojin grins. This is easier than he'd thought it would be. 

xxx

That Friday, Woojin learns not to trust the female race. Jaehwan messages Woojin a little after midnight to say that it went OK, but after a couple of drinks, Elkie started blubbing and eventually admitted she had an on-again-off-again thing going on with one of her unnies at the dance school. She'd hoped to raise some kind of jealousy in her, but instead that unnie had lent her a cute pair of heels and wished Elkie luck. 

Jaehwan took it well. He knew _lots_ about tragic, unrequited love. He and Elkie traded tales of woe and took a few couple-y selca in a last ditch effort to get a rise out of Elkie's unnie. Woojin takes it less well. He should never have thought it'd be so easy. 

Before the second date, he decides to do some research. He's a practical man, so he takes Jaehwan on a friend-date. It's a surprise friend-date because Woojin wasn't about to get platonically rejected. He goes along to Jaehwan's busking, sits in the swealtering afternoon heat for almost an hour, and ambushes him with cool(-ish) drinks as he's clearing up. 

"Hyung, let's go to the park."

Jaehwan laughs in Woojin's sweaty face, but agrees all the same. 

They buy streetfood and feed the birds. Jaehwan listens to Woojin prattle on about his ridiculous job. He even gives him sound advice on a prank he's developing to terrify Hyunbin. They climb to the top of a hill where you can see the sunset splashing purple and pink light across the city. Jaehwan gets his guitar out again. He's agreed to do a score for some independent short film Ong Seongwu's got involved in. There are no lyrics, so Jaehwan and Woojin make some up about the nice lady selling candyfloss. (She gives them free candyfloss for shutting up and leaving). 

It's an awesome date. But Woojin's not sure he learnt anything. That being so, he asks Youngmin for the wisdom of his years. 

"Geez, I don't know," his flatmate mumbles, scratching his neck with a hwatu card. He and Donghyun are sitting at their kitchen table playing go-stop. That, Woojin thinks, is the sort of thing old people like to do of an afternoon and he ought not judge them. "Look, you're crap with girls anyway, so don't try that again."

Youngmin gives him a long look, card paused mid-scratch.

"Think in terms of guys. Younger guys. And Jaehwan has to get along with them as a friend. Younger guy friends," Youngmin concludes, emphasising each word. Woojin nods, ruminating on Youngmin's advice. He sits at the table for a while, pretending to watch them play. Only guys. Mutual friends. Someone Jaehwan already gets along well with. Younger. Inspiration lights up his eyes. A soft gasp escapes his lips. He can't believe he didn't come up with this sooner. 

"Donghyun-hyung, you date him."

Donghyun chokes on air. This is Woojin's first sign that something is amiss. Frankly though, Donghyun's even dumber than him, so Woojin tries not to worry about it too much. 

"What?"

"You get on with him. You don't think he's ugly or anything, right?"

"Well, no, but..." Donghyun's face is turning oddly mauve. 

"And you think he's funny. Don't act like you don't - I've _seen_ you laugh at his jokes. You're both musicians. You've got so much in common. Come on, it's perfect."

They both seem to notice simultaneously that Youngmin is frozen in the act of throwing a card down. He's goggling at them both, jaw slack. Seeing the kids' attention on him, he clears his throat. 

"Yes. Well. I don't see any problem with that."

"You don't?!" Donghyun squeaks. Honestly, Woojin's beginning to think something really is a bit off. But he's sure it'll be fine. Once Donghyun's on the date, he'll get over whatever hang-ups he's having. Surely everyone likes Jaehwan once they give the noisy idiot a chance. 

However, when he tells Jaehwan about the date, the older man bursts into breathy giggles. 

"I... wow. Did you really? Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave? You're really something." This is Woojin's second sign that something is amiss. 

"Is that a yes or what?" he growls. Jaehwan grins. He slings an arm around Woojin's shoulders, effectively knocking the frustration out of him. 

"Yeah, sure. It'll be fun."

A couple of days later, the two of them go to the cinema. And yes, it is fun. That's all either will tell Woojin - it was fun, but it didn't work out. Woojin can wheedle nothing else out of Jaehwan, even by spamming the hell out of him on katok, and Donghyun is weirdly absent from his and Youngmin's flat. The date was perfectly fine and acceptable. That's it. 

Woojin imparts his troubles to Daehwi one day after work. 

"Why are you... Gosh!" He sips his iced tea angrily then snaps his head back to Woojin, "If they get divorced, I swear I'm gonna slit your throat." Having no idea what this kid's on about and feeling rather put out, Woojin snaps, 

" _Hyung_. It's 'slit your throat, _Hyung_ ', you damn brat." 

Daehwi offers a stupendously emotionless 'sorry, Hyung' and gnaws his rainbow straw. 

It takes another three days before Woojin arrives back to find Donghyun back at their flat. He and Youngmin are on the three-piece sofa, taking up one seat for no obvious reason. They're watching a dreary looking film in a language Woojin doesn't recognise. Although he can't put it into words, it does feel like some aspect of the universe has rectified itself. 

xxx

Woojin takes his time before date three. He hasn't given up, but evidently he's got something wrong about this whole process. He thinks about it. To be exact, he cogitates profoundly, delving into the multitudinous layers of Kim Jaehwan's dateless-ness, seeking to unveil the hard nucleus of his own inability to hook a bro up. It doesn't work. Woojin takes him on another friend-date.

This time they go to the botanic gardens, taking pictures and having a picnic afterwards. The picnic consists of store-bought snacks, but Woojin's pretty sure that still counts. Jaehwan threads flowers into Woojin's hair and laughs so hard at Woojin's sour expression that he tumbles on to the grass. Woojin has a good time. Maybe too good - he sort of forgot he was supposed to be observing and taking mental notes. On the other hand, since both friend dates went well, Woojin's feeling OK to just ask for another. They go see an action flic and argue about it continuously for several hours before and after. It's a really fun night, in Woojin's estimation. The next time, Jaehwan invites him to go see one of of his friends performing at a pub in Hongdae. Afterwards, they stroll around and Woojin buys him clothes to help him look less like a primary school teacher. Some days later, they go to Myeongdong to annoy Minhyun at the curry house where he works and hit a noraebang afterwards. 

These friend-dates are doing nothing for Woojin's savings. He hopes the pure and innocent munificence and altruism of his purpose means good karma will hit him up come term time. If he's lucky, Jaehwan will bag himself a boyfriend who can cook. Their friend-group is lacking in this aspect and Woojin doesn't fully trust Youngmin not to let his financially inept arse starve. In any case, Woojin's wallet gets some reprieve when Jihoon makes his glorious return from his year studying in Europe. Woojin's bestie is that most wild of things, the possessor of a scholarship, and actually suggests - without being prompted - to treat Woojin to lunch. 

They go to a cafe with lots of wood panelling and a mix of bossanova playing on repeat. The boys linger over pasta and gigantic iced coffees. Jihoon tells him all about Europe - about being taught to play rugby by massive Welsh boys, about how flirting with British girls is a whole different thing to flirting with French girls, about a fight outside a pub one night and being the only one of his friends to not be arrested for some reason. (The 'for some reason' is Jihoon's take on the matter. Woojin knows that the reason is how Jihoon can have a split lip, bust up knuckles, bruises all over, yet an aura of sweetness will still radiate around him. It's some kind of demonic enchantment, Woojin's pretty sure. Jihoon's a narky little bugger who walks the path of being a nuisance, but there's some equation with his (mostly) polite bearing, the curve of his lips and his eternally round face, that means people find it near impossible to call him out on half his narky bullshit. This aspect of his best friend is, in and of itself, hilarious to Woojin). He's chuckling along as Jihoon tells him about being dared to eat a full dish of something called phaal, and how he wants to find it in Seoul, because he failed last time and only sweated and snotted all over the cozy Indian restaurant. There's a melody in Woojin's head. He realises with a start that it's that thing Jaehwan was working on for Seongwu's film. Woojin sees a sunset staining the earth in colour and has the taste of candyfloss on his tongue. The must, he presumes, be inspiration. 

He video calls Jaehwan that evening. Before the important stuff, he makes him play what he ended up writing for Seongwu's film. It's downbeat, unmistakably melancholic. But it's very pretty, as Woojin knew the finished piece would be. Woojin finally asks, 

"Hyung, I've been wondering, what age is OK? Like, is someone my age too young?"

Jaehwan hestitates. On his phone, Woojin sees the mop of wavy brown hair, falling about his ears, Jaehwan's head bowed over his guitar, his round cheeks with penmarks on them and Jaehwan's lips stuck out in concentration. Woojin assumes he's fixing something with the guitar and doesn't say a word. 

"It depends," Jaehwan answers, lifting his face. He has a small, lopsided smile that Woojin's not sure how to read, "If we get on well then I don't mind age too much."

"Yeah? OK, great. I've got your third date arranged them."

Jaehwan laughs shortly. He shrugs and says he'll leave it in Woojin's hands. After Woojin hangs up, he's aware of a twist in his guts. He goes to the kitchen and snarfs a quintuple decker pb&j sandwich and that makes the feeling go away. 

xxx

Jihoon messages Woojin after the date. Woojin gets deja vu. 

The pair went to a fairground. They rode everything and terrified the norms with the combined force of their screams. They ate too much, took a million cute selca, and Jaehwan won Jihoon a giant pink teddybear which Jihoon has christened 'Huw'. Their date was clearly perfect, yet

[It was fun and all but well just stay friends ♡ thnx :) ]

Woojin glowers at his friend's cute message. He can't honestly be this shit of a matchmaker, can he? Does the Universe not want Jaehwan to have a hot boyfriend? Woojin has a dance class that evening. He dances so hard to their routine that he accidentally backhands Daniel in the face. When blood starts dripping, Sungwoon rushes off to get the first aid kit. Woojin hovers about uselessly, apologising a few dozen times. 

"'s alright," Daniel splutters as Sungwoon attacks his face with cotton swabs, "You and Jaehwannie sort your thing out soon, yeah?"

Woojin thinks 'your thing' is a poor way to refer to his noble efforts to open Jaehwan's heart up and help him find a new love, but he doesn't comment on it. His noble efforts flopped, after all. Daniel's good friends with Jaehwan through Seongwu. If Jaehwan's been complaining about the dongsaeng who keeps annoying him with hopeless dates, then Daniel will have heard it. Woojin bows his head and goes back to practice. 

xxx

Youngmin, the kind and awful human being that he is, points out to Woojin that morning that he has 10 days before term starts. Woojin's saved some money, but less than he'd hoped. He's partied even less than he'd expected. He hasn't reviewed his textbooks even once. He has completely failed to get Jaehwan laid. Woojin's not feeling so hype. On the plus side, landing this job means occasionally he gets to valet park sweet ass Bentleys. All he's doing is driving this (orgasmic) thing from outside the department store to a spot on the sixth floor, but it's already the best part of his week. 

He's strolling back down to the ground floor when a familiar whistle echoes its way up to him. 

"Jaehwannie-hyung?" he calls. 

"The very same!"

Quickening his pace, he finds Jaehwan waiting on the third floor, leaning against a pillar and blowing bubblegum. The space around him reeks of artificial cherries. Jaehwan's wearing the T-shirt Woojin bought him at Hongdae that one time, but his jeans are a uniformly pale blue and lacking rips or decoration, so he still looks like a primary school teacher. 

"Evening," Woojin greets. Only when he speaks does he realise that he's smiling. A cherry pink bubble bursts in Jaehwan's face and his eyes crinkle up in a grin. 

xxx

This time it's Jaehwan inviting him to the park. It's long dark by the time Woojin's off work, but in the trailing heat of summer people are still out. They pass buskers and pensioners dancing together to traditional music. Insects flutter about in the streetlamps. Dogs with their owners weave about their legs eager to enjoy the open space and the relative cool of the night. There are also some couples idling about, hand in hand. Woojin tries not to see them. They remind him that his hyung is still a lonely, tortured musician and that, therefore, Woojin's a failure of a dongsaeng. 

After some time just walking around and enjoying the evening, they find a bench to occupy. It's near a large stream. In the shadows they can just about see and hear the shuffling and snuffling of resident birds bedding down for the night. In the distance there's a busker hollering some English rock song as well as the twang of a folk song that a group of grandmas are working out a routine to. He and Jaehwan picked up candied strawberries along the way. However, they don't taste like they should. There's that twist in Woojin's guts again. Thinking about it, he supposes perhaps he should eat _harder_ and polishes the snacks off in unseemly quick time. He's pretty sure Jaehwan notices, but the older guy's joyfully recounting one of Minhyun's adventures with the rat that lives in their apartment and doesn't seem to mind Woojin's weirdness. 

"Hyung," he remarks into the next lull in conversation, "Did you want to talk about anything in particular?"

"Hmm, no," Jaehwan drawls around a mouthful of fruit and caramel, "I just kinda missed Woojinnie the last few days. You've been busy, right?" Woojin grunts a non-response. Jaehwan's easy smile doesn't falter. "Didn't Woojin miss this hyung?"

Woojin feels the dumb smile spread on his face, his fang tooth pressing into his lip. When he still doesn't bother responding, Jaehwan laughs and jabs him hard in the arm. Woojin shoves him hard. That twist in his guts is finally starting to uncoil. 

Some drama erupts amongst the animals. There's squawking and splashing in the shadows, and then a mass of feathers flaps past their heads. They stare after it, even though neither could even tell what type of bird it was. 

"Hey, Hyung, I'm sorry I messed up finding you a date. It was probably annoying, right?" Woojin blabs, tugging at his sleeves of the thin hoodie he's wearing over his work shirt, "I won't give it another try. You must want to, like, get over Sewoon-hyung in your own good time and stuff."

Jaehwan snorts at him. Having finished the snacks, he sits back, stretching his arms above his head. 

"Don't be sorry. The dates were fun. They helped too."

"Really?" Woojin asks, dubioiusly. 

An arm lands casually around Woojin's shoulders. He looks at Jaehwan, waiting for his answer, and sees with mild surprise that he's blushing. 

"Yeah, promise." Although his voice doesn't betray any nerves, Jaehwan gulps - Woojin watches the rise and fall of his adam's apple. "You can arrange me another if you think you've found me a 10, but you don't have to I, er." There, at last, a hitch in his voice, "I kinda like things how they are now. Don't you?"

He lifts his brown eyes to Woojin's, and Woojin is suddenly aware of being intensely warm, from the tip of his head, down his throat, out to every limb. 

"I - yeah, I guess," he stumbles, watching the lights in Jaehwan's eyes and the slant of his smile. Woojin knows there's something about the splay of his long eyelashes against his white cheeks and the ache and roiling inside Woojin. But his brain was never great at working these things out. His lips on the other hand... He's dropped a kiss on Jaehwan's nose before he even knows he's moved. The musician giggles nervously. 

"What was that?"

"It was red?" Woojin tries. Personally, he thinks he's the last person Jaehwan should ask. As if he has any idea why he does anything. "It's more red now," he adds helpfully. 

"You don't say, brat," Jaehwan growls and pecks Woojin's lips. Woojin's arm finds its way around Jaehwan's waist. His hand settles comfortably on the band of those hideous blue jeans. Jaehwan grins up at him, fingers playing with that threadbare hoodie. And yeah, Woojin decides, he really does like things how they are right now.


End file.
